Feeling Lost or Stuck? 5 Ways to Find Clarity and Direction in Midlife
For many women, midlife can be a time of shift. Life changes and begins to look different - roles change, responsibilities ease or evolve, and there’s more space to reflect.
Often it’s a time when our kids are old enough to look after themselves, we experience all sorts of hormonal ups and downs going through peri-menopause, and our perspective on life can change.
And yet, when it comes to answering the question “What do I want next?” many women feel stuck, blank, or unsure where to even begin.
We can forget how to dream big, visualise our ideal life and think about how we want to spend our future, and we can lose the belief and confidence that our dreams and desires are actually attainable.
Feeling like this is very normal, and common.
You’re not broken.
It can happen as a result of years of prioritising others, going through the motions of everyday responsibilities and life, operating on autopilot and never really stopping to think about whether or not you’re making daily choices that move you in the direction you actually want to go.
Whether you find yourself at a point where you’re completely lost and life looks nothing like you imagined, or you’re pretty happy with where you’re at, but you know something is missing or needs to change, the following 5 tips can help you gain clarity and direction towards something more fulfilling and aligned with how you want life to be from here on in.
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5 Ways to Clarify What You Want Next
1. Work out where you are now
You can’t change your life direction if you don’t know where you are right now.
Often, we don’t take the time to think about what’s working and what’s not in our life.
We just continue on because that’s what we’ve always done and it’s familiar.
But taking the time to check in with yourself and asking some relevant questions is really important if you want to move forward.
This isn’t about listing everything that’s wrong or criticising your life.
It’s about gently noticing what’s working, what isn’t, and where you might want things to feel different.
Noticing dissatisfaction is information, not failure.
What’s not currently working?
· What makes you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or unhappy?
· What feels heavy, draining, or no longer fits?
· Where are you doing things mainly to please others, rather than yourself?
What is working?
· What feels energising or meaningful?
· What brings a sense of happiness or fulfilment?
· Where do you feel most like yourself?
As you reflect, look for themes (like freedom, contribution, creativity, growth) rather than perfection.
You’re not trying to solve everything - you’re simply getting your bearings.
Once you understand where you are, it becomes much easier to explore where you want to go next.
2. Reconnect with Your Values
Your values are the guiding principles that shape who you are and what truly matters to you.
They influence how you make choices, where you place your energy, and what feels important in your life.
When you understand your values, you gain insight into why certain things feel right - and why others don’t.
Values influence our thoughts, decisions, actions, and behaviours, and ultimately the direction our life takes.
They are less about what we want to achieve or have, and more about how we want to live and who we want to be along the way.
When we’re living in alignment with our values, life tends to feel more meaningful and fulfilling.
When we’re not, it often shows up as dissatisfaction, restlessness, or a sense that something is missing - even if everything looks “fine” on the outside.
Examples of values might include:
Honesty, compassion, connection, love, family, friendship, growth, community, spirituality, resilience, freedom, balance, or creativity.
Take a moment to ask yourself:
· What values feel most important to me right now?
· Where in my life am I honouring them?
· Where am I not?
Your values act like an internal compass.
When you are clear and connected with them, you create a strong foundation for knowing how you want to live and what truly matters to you.
It becomes much easier to start imagining what you want instead - and what you may want to change or move towards.
“Feeling lost isn’t a sign that something is wrong - it’s often the moment something new is ready to begin.”
3. Work out what you want instead
When was the last time you created a real, aligned vision for your life - one where you truly felt how you want your life to feel, could see how it might look, and allowed yourself to believe it was possible?
Many women stop dreaming because their dreams feel unrealistic, impractical, or out of reach.
Over time, it can feel safer to lower expectations or stop imagining altogether.
But reconnecting with what you want starts with giving yourself permission to dream again - without the restrictions, timelines, or pressure to figure out how it will all work.
This isn’t about chasing constant happiness or creating a “perfect” life - that’s not realistic, and it’s not how real life works.
A fulfilling life includes challenge, discomfort, and a full range of human emotions: joy, sadness, fear, frustration, anger, excitement, and everything in between.
Growth often comes from the difficult moments, not from trying to avoid them.
You don’t need a big, detailed vision or a perfectly mapped-out future.
You just need the space to reflect on what you want more of - and what you want less of.
Once you start forming even a loose idea of what you want, you give yourself something to move toward.
Ask yourself:
· If there were no expectations or limitations, what would you love your life to look and feel like?
Many people stay stuck in “one day” thinking: I wish I could…, I’d love to…, If only….
But without action, these dreams remain wishes that never get fulfilled.
Change only happens when we begin to take steps, however small, toward the life we want.
4. Start Small, Gain Clarity and Build Through Action
Sometimes the clearest way to discover what you want is to begin gently and allow the next step to reveal itself.
You don’t need a fully formed vision or a detailed, step-by-step plan before you start.
Often, clarity comes after action - not before it.
Begin somewhere, see where that takes you, re-assess and take the next step.
By taking action, you’ll gain clarity, build confidence, and start seeing progress, which is what keeps the momentum going.
While having some structure and direction is important, overly rigid plans can sometimes be counterproductive.
When we focus too much on a fixed path, we can miss unexpected opportunities.
Growth often requires flexibility - being open to adjusting your direction, pivoting when something isn’t working, and trusting yourself to adapt as you go.
Each small step gives you valuable information: what feels right, what doesn’t, what energises you, and what drains you.
Think of it like an experiment rather than something you might fail at.
None of it is wasted - it’s all feedback that helps guide your next move.
Creating a life that we love is often about the small things that add up over days, weeks, months & years - actions, choices, thoughts and decisions that move you forward and make your life meaningful and fulfilling for you.
Be curious, learn to trust yourself and be willing to take the next small step.
Know that you don’t need to have it all figured out to move forward.
5. Get Support and Perspective by Working With a Coach
Sometimes it’s hard to gain real clarity on your own, especially when you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step.
When you’re in the middle of it, it’s easy to go around in circles with your thoughts.
Working with a coach gives you a supportive space to talk things through, gain fresh perspective, and be guided with powerful questions that help you uncover what you truly want - and what might be holding you back.
A coach can help you turn uncertainty into clarity, ideas into goals, and intentions into action, while also providing encouragement and accountability along the way.
You don’t have to do it all on your own, and sometimes having the right support can make all the difference.
If you’ve been feeling stuck or uncertain about what’s next, hopefully this is a reminder that you don’t have to have all the answers, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Slow down, tune in, and take one small step forward.
Over time, those steps create direction towards a life that feels more like you.
Are you ready to stop trying to work it all out on your own and would love personalised support to gain clarity, build confidence, and move forward with intention?
This is exactly what I help women with through my Dream It… Plan It… Do It… life and mindset coaching.
Check it out HERE