Changing Unhelpful Habits & Rebuilding Confidence for Women
If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling back into habits you want to change - even when you know better - you’re not alone.
For many women, habit change isn’t about willpower at all.
It’s about understanding what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Understanding Habits
Habits are routines or behaviours that we perform automatically, often without conscious thought.
They are formed through repetition and are reinforced by what’s called a habit loop.
A habit loop usually consists of the following components:
Cue: A trigger that starts the habit.
Routine: The behaviour itself.
Reward: The benefit you gain from the behaviour.
So, for example: Nightly snacking - each night after dinner you take some time to relax from the day and sit on the couch to watch your favourite show. When you do this you automatically reach for some type of snack (usually an unhealthy one - chocolate, ice-cream, chips, lollies etc). In your mind this is part of your relaxation routine where you receive enjoyment from the snack and feel good hormones circulate throughout your body. In the habit loop this looks as follows:
Cue: sitting on the couch and turning on your favourite TV show
Routine: reaching for an unhealthy snack
Reward: enjoyment and feel good chemicals
Because you are receiving some sort of reward from the habit, you continue to do it, until it becomes so ingrained that sometimes you might do it without even realising!
While habits can be good and help us save mental energy, unhelpful habits can hold us back from achieving our goals.
Recognising and changing these patterns is the first step toward creating a life that aligns with your values and aspirations.
Are you feeling ready to recalibrate?
My free resource The Essential Life Reset Checklist for Women Navigating Midlife will help you:
Reflect on what’s currently feeling out of alignment and what you don’t want
Get clear on what you do want in this next phase
You can download it HERE
How to Identify Unhelpful Habits
Track Your Day: Spend a few days writing down your activities, no matter how small. Pay attention to routines like mindless snacking, procrastination, negative thinking or excessive screen time. Keep a small notebook with you to quickly jot things down.
Reflect on Patterns: Ask yourself:
Does this habit align with my goals?
How do I feel after engaging in this habit? Energised or drained? Fulfilled or guilty?
What triggers this habit? Is it stress, boredom, or something else?
Do I want to change this habit?
Perform a Habit Audit: Make a list of your daily habits and categorise them:
Helpful: Supports your goals and well-being.
Neutral: Neither helps nor hinders you.
Unhelpful: Works against your goals or leaves you feeling worse.
Strategies to Change Unhelpful Habits
Create a “Why” Statement:
For each habit you want to change, write a motivating reason why. Example:
Unhelpful Habit: Staying up too late scrolling social media.
Why Change?: Getting better sleep will help me wake up refreshed and stick to my exercise routine.
Unhelpful Habit: Consistently eating unhealthy, ‘fast’ foods that don’t support my body.
Why Change?: Nourishing myself with wholesome foods will allow my mind and body to function optimally.
Set “If-Then” Plans:
Develop specific responses to triggers:
If I feel stressed, then I will take a 5-minute walk instead of reaching for snacks.
If I’m tempted to scroll on my phone before bed, then I will set it on silent and read a book.
If I catch myself focusing on all the negative things, then I will say STOP and shift my focus.
Celebrate Small Wins:
Acknowledge and reward yourself for small progress. Positive reinforcement makes habit change more rewarding and sustainable.
Changing unhelpful habits isn’t about willpower or getting it “right” all at once.
It’s about awareness, compassion, and making small, intentional changes over time.
Once you begin to notice your patterns, you’re no longer stuck in them, and you can start to choose differently.
By identifying your habit loop and experimenting with small changes, you begin to take back control of your daily patterns.
Start with just one habit.
Get curious rather than critical.
Each small shift you make builds confidence, self-trust, and momentum.
Changing unhelpful habits isn’t just about stopping what you don’t want - it’s about getting clear on what you do want and creating a plan that supports it.
Ready to change habits that no longer serve you?
If you’re tired of falling back into the same patterns and want support creating habits that actually stick, my Dream It… Plan It… Do It… coaching program is designed to help you build clarity, confidence and consistent action — step by step.
Click HERE to learn more about working with me