How Midlife Women Can Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs
At some point in our lives, we all have an inner voice that quietly tells us we’re not capable enough, not confident enough, or not “ready yet.”
These thoughts often feel like facts - but they’re not.
Your Thoughts Are Not Facts
These are what we call self-limiting beliefs - and they can stop us from reaching our true potential.
Beliefs such as “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, or “I’ll fail anyway” - are deeply embedded patterns of thinking.
They’ve often been with us for years, shaped by past experiences, upbringing, fear, and social conditioning.
They are the ingrained thoughts and assumptions we hold about ourselves, our abilities, and what we believe is possible or not possible for us.
The problem is, when these beliefs go unchallenged, they start to shape our decisions, behaviours, and the actions we don’t take - because we’ve learned to believe that we can’t.
They keep us playing small, doubting ourselves, and staying in situations that no longer feel aligned - not because we can’t change, but because we don’t believe we can.
The good news is that self-limiting beliefs are learned, which means they can also be unlearned.
My own experience with self-doubt
Even now, as a coach, I still have moments where I catch myself thinking:
What if I’m not good enough?
What if I can’t help?
What if I don’t know what to say or do?
These thoughts can seem to come out of nowhere and just sit there, quietly making me question myself.
And while I recognise them now for what they are - my own self-limiting beliefs - they can still feel convincing in the moment.
I believe this is something we all experience, especially when we’re stepping outside our comfort zone or doing something that truly matters to us.
It’s that familiar inner voice that whispers, “You don’t know enough,” or “You’re not experienced enough.”
And if we’re not aware of it, it’s very easy to listen to - and believe.
At first, I tried to push those thoughts away.
But that didn’t stop them from returning.
What actually helped was acknowledging them instead of fighting them, and then consciously taking away their power.
I began calling them out for what they were - thoughts, not truths - and choosing to replace them with something more supportive.
Now, when those thoughts show up, I stop and ask myself:
Is this fact… or fear?
Would I speak to someone else the way I’m speaking to myself?
What would I say to a friend who was having these thoughts?
That simple pause creates space - and an opportunity to make a different, more aligned choice.
Does lack of self-belief and confidence stop you from truly reaching for your goals and dreams?
I’ve created a free resource called The Essential Life Reset Checklist to help you gently explore where you are now, what’s no longer working, and what you want to move toward next.
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Your brain is wired for safety, not success.
Our brains are designed to keep us safe, not to help us grow or succeed.
They want familiarity, certainty, and comfort.
That’s why, when you’re about to do something new or outside your comfort zone, your inner critic often gets louder.
This doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
It simply means your brain is trying to protect you from perceived risk.
The important thing to remember is that you have the ability to retrain it.
Once you start recognising self-limiting beliefs for what they are, you can begin to loosen their grip and create new, more empowering and supportive ways of thinking.
Confidence is built through action, not certainty
Building self-belief and confidence doesn’t happen overnight.
It develops step by step, as we show up for ourselves consistently.
It starts with awareness - noticing the negative thoughts, beliefs, and self-talk.
And it grows when we choose to challenge them and take action anyway, even when we feel fear or unsure of the outcome.
Every time you act despite self-doubt, you send your brain a powerful message: I am capable.
Self-belief and confidence isn’t about having all the answers, or being perfect at everything.
It’s about trusting yourself to figure things out as you go.
It’s built through trying, learning, and being willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you currently realise.
The road won’t always be smooth - anything worthwhile rarely is.
What matters is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.
You are capable of more than you think.
And when you truly believe that, you become unstoppable.
The Confidence Ladder
One way to build self-belief and confidence is by recognising how far you’ve already come - and then taking one small step forward.
Take a moment to reflect:
Write down something you’ve achieved in the past that you once believed you couldn’t.
Now, identify one small action you can take this week that reinforces your ability to keep growing and moving forward.
Each step, no matter how small, strengthens your belief in yourself.
Bonus Journal Prompts
If you’d like to go a little deeper, reflect on the following:
What belief have I been carrying that I’m ready to let go of?
What new belief would best support the version of me I’m becoming?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I want more - but I don’t know how to get there on my own,” - this is exactly the work I support women with.
My Dream It… Plan It… Do It… Coaching Program is designed for women in midlife who feel stuck, uncertain, or disconnected - and want clarity, confidence, and a clear path forward to create real change.
Learn more about the Dream It… Plan It… Do It… Coaching Program HERE